In a galaxy far, far away
Sometimes I wish I had met you in a different time and place.
Where there are no ultimatums as a prerequisite to anything more than a relationship.
We'd be free--and awesome together.
25 random things
Okay, because I got tagged by Sarah and I'm at work way too early (only to find Gilbert in a state of horrific inversion), I'm going to go ahead and fill up this 25 Random Facts About Me note thing.
1. I can't smoke. Laugh if you must (the guys sure as hell did, all the way down State Street).
2. I hate leeches. For the love of God and everything holy and unholy, I *hate* leeches.
3. I didn't name my frog. One of my art directors, Werns, christened him Gilbert.
4. My heart still feels like it's going to thump out of my chest when I PvP in WOW.
5. Public speaking (and performing!) gives me the hives.
6. I loved tables at one point in my life and swore never to use that blasphemy called CSS. Fast forward a couple of years...
7. Following the same train of thought, I swore never to do engineering or anything chemistry related when I left high school. And what did I goto university for? Chemical Engineering.
8. I love to sleep. Oodles and oodles of love for sleep.
9. I'm a hopeless romantic and hate myself for it. Yay, me!
10. One day, I will find the nerve to bungee jump. I WILL.
11. The folks picked my "Sean" from the "Sean" the belonged to the Goddess of Mercy. Oh, the irony <3
12. I break electronic devices much too often for my liking. Shit just malfunctions!
13. Chances are, I can wreck your face with my priest 1v1. Bring it.
14. I would love to able to visit a place that screams snowstorm at least once every year.
15. I love everything about rain--so long as I'm indoors :P
16. I am horrible at forgiving. Only because I selectively remember stuff all too well.
17. I was supposed to climb Mt. Kinabalu last year before I turned 25. Failed.
18. I am a bad judge of character LOL Paulo swears by it.
19. Every office (my dining room doesn't count) that I've worked in so far feels like a meat freezer.
20. I put my hair up when I'm having a bad hair day.
21. My friends are like my extended family (although, my dad sometimes beg to differ, lol). <3
22. I am really emo at heart. Wrist cutting, dark poem writing emo.
23. I love hot showers. Steam rising, blister inducing, skin flayingly hot.
24. I bite my nails. I paint them to avoid biting them.
25. I came to work before 11am on the 27th this month even though it was "forbidden". Cough.
It has been so much fun <3 Tons of good laughs, a couple of bat shit mental moments, those sexy late nights, a few lego bricks and one or two of 'em mickey mouse ears; not too bad for a short run, eh?
I miss you all so much <3
... especially team awesome and the ribena girl ;)
Yes, I know this is extremely delayed... but I haz no interwebs :/ And it really doesn't help that freaking Tasmania has noooo wireless so much so I am forced to leech on-campus (yes, on-campus) computers for connection :p I am also using IEsuck (IT lab computers, sigh)... my life has officially ended.
I am so reliving my university days.
Not knowing where it spun out of control
Bumping into someone from the past whom you've not met for yonks can sway either way: surprisingly pleasant or just plain catastrophic. I mean, if someone was important enough to you, you probably wouldn't be completely out of contact the first place, yes? Unless of course, something... remarkably unsavory took place.
Until today, I can't really pinpoint when the switch flipped and caused the mangled mess that was my relationship from the last half of 2005 to early 2007. But then again, with relationships it's always almost the usual suspects: someone got detached, someone tried holding on, someone didn't bother trying, someone found someone else, someone didn't care, someone started caring, massive chaos ensued, the world imploded and everyone walked away angry, uncertain and broken from the half truths, betrayal and the lingering doubt that perhaps everything they had was merely a convenience then.
I will never know.
25 on the 25th
I do this every year, so I figured why break tradition? :)
I kicked off year 25 with an excitingly anticipated conference call with the lovely Sara, whom I finally got to speak to after years of working with and Kevin! :D
And in no particular order, here's a recap of the fun, glamorous and obnoxiously horrific things of how "24" went:
Pole dancing lessons--and all the wonderful ladies at pole class :D
Pole dancing--on a stage with my awesome partner Misty in a club in front of a large audience... with really only (mom and dad, please turn away and not continue reading this line) a corset and those sexy pinstripe undies with red ribbons on the side.
Discovering Cyberjaya--I swear if I never got the job working at RSB, until today, I still wouldn't know how to get to that god forsaken place.
Team RSB--Rails Rumble, lots of Ruby on Rails, fun with CSS, a few Facebook applications and more geeky shit :) Oh... and AGILE... and converting from Dreamweaver (I only use split screen view! :p) to TextMate.
Team RSB--oh, the fights! Going to war and defending your shit. Thank you :)
Took public transportation to KL at eight in the bloody morning. Don't even ask.
Got a Macbook that traveled with me all the way to Chi-town! :D
Chicago--graciously hosted by Diana, Andrew, Jaime and Owen smack in the middle of winter <3 Much apologies to the guys shoes' which I puked on at the dueling piano bar after my orgy of drinks, heh. And Super Bowl!
Vegetarian food--like, seriously. In all my past 23 years combined, I've never had as much vegetarian food as I did working in Cyberjaya for those few months :p Every thing's a mushroom. Or bean.
Advertising at Proximity--I architect information, hah ;p And boy do I still hate Flash :p Admittedly, we have shit for internet but at least we get free beer and truckloads of processed sugar :D
My fuck-me-red iPod died. DIED.
Gave the second chance thingie a second try. Didn't work out too hot.
Swung around an obstacle course four stories up in the air with the crazy kids at Standard Charted. Oh, the drinking games. Much love! :)
Doing stupid shit on the webcam.
Mage went frost... and priest snagged the 2000 rating with Cibo (and a little help from sassy Higgins hehe).
Rediscovering what it means to have an "actual job" and how it cuts down dramatically on your social life.
Revisiting my teenager years of indulging my currently not-so-secret any longer teeny boppy girly crush fantasies.
Bumped into unpleasant clients (thankfully only two!)--the worst of the two being a misogynistic a-hole (pretty much self explanatory).
Whored my liver out to Turborg just so I could get to the KL Music Festival '08.
Salsa classes--just started! ;p
Streaked my hair red and adopted green contact lenses in the name of vanity.
Bumping into people with subzero PR skills. Yes, again, God kills a lolcat every time I have to tolerate this.
Two of my friends are engaged! :D
Obsessing over a track from the Ministry of Sound radio for ages without knowing the title (simply because it's so obscure I couldn't find it)--only to find it on someone's playlist on the first day at Proximity (thanks Yee Ee :D)! I have the track but sadly, I still don't know what it's called.
And that's that; I'm still high on my fever and both my brain and fingers have rebelled and stopped working... although, I'm not sure if I should include HTML5 to that list :x
Pictures will come tomorrow! :) Happy Birthday to all the other July babies out there! :D
The cryptic sunset
Someone once told me that if I had nothing good to say, I shouldn't blog.
But I just have to say that despite my random bitching I had an amazing June and am looking forward to an amazingly fantabulous July :)
Would be even more amazing if the GC is still in proximity.
I see what you did there. Ah, addictions ^^;
Ninja edit: arena rating requirements on honor gear sucks bollocks! WTB 1700 rating boots!! >/ Yes, I'm a baddie.
Ready, steady... blotch
Random Tuesday afternoon musings including (but most definitely not limited to) angsty bitching of sorts:
I love my new red-streaked hair :D Don't worry, incoming self-whoring pictures of mentioned red hair soon. It glows under sunlight *beams* too, fun stuff.
I've been left with the amazing task of looking for one uber designer to join the team. Even if I do *immensely* enjoy sifting through nameless resumes of candidates from various backgrounds who ALL seem to have PS/AI experience... for God's sake man, if you're applying for a job as a graphic designer, YOU NEED A BLOODY PORTFOLIO. "Five years experience in Photoshop" just doesn't quite cut it if you've got nothing to show for it, comprende?
And oh, gotta love the ones who've got "advanced" CSS skills with sites made in tables and fugly .green_underline and .blue_font classes in their table rows... I'm beyond flabbergasted.
Green colored contact lenses are no workie for Asian eyes. You want green? Skip the "more natural" green and go all out neon turquoise or some funkadelic color. So much for the RED hair and GREEN eyes spectacular Monday shock. I think I'll have one blue and one green this Friday and see how that turns out... yes, my office is an amazing place to work at :p
No, I don't look cool when I dance (spaz left, spaz right... some evil bastard reincarnation of crumping and Riverdance, you get the idea)... I mean, I'd like to pretend I do... even though I really, REALLY don't... but yeah. No, I will not youtube.
I graduate from moron to clumsy moron in proximity of people (well, there's really just this one person) I'm fond of. Granted I'm not your typical haughty minx to begin with but the alternative of being reduced to a frantic, besotted idiot isn't quite appealing either. Although, I'm not sure if it's noticeable (at least apparently not to him), considering I'm normally bouncing off walls high on air anyway.
Yonne needs to stop taking stuff out of the guild bank while he's on my druid lest Nate goes batshit mental when/if 200+ gems disappear again (p/s: this is World of Warcraft related). I love Magister's Terrace but I hate the horde who camp the meeting stone. In other news, I'm pewpew frost and suffer from too much ADHD to own a pet. YES, I CAVED. Now shut it.
Yees is back (for 2 weeks anyway)! And it has been an eating expedition. It's claypot chicken rice tonight, wewt!
How do you give up someone you love? Willingly? And for the "greater good" without the sensation of falling forever and lost in the totality of unjustified confusion at the mere thought of the person?
For something that's supposedly the right thing to do, it feels like the epitome of everything you're doing wrong with your life.
You can kick, scream, cry and beg but the reality of the situation still remains and you're forced to let go.
You let go... and then you hate.
Your emotions betray you and you turn against this one person... that one person who used to make you soar, sprint, laugh and love.
Your lover, your friend is now your enemy.
Eventually, past all the sleepless nights, you'll break and loathe... willing to erase the past and desperately wanting to forget the future.
You'll never understand.
And in time, the part of your brain that craves and the longing in your heart that desires will cease to function. For the greater good.
And you miss it all already.
p/s: On a completely unrelated note, ripping out one's nose piercing by accident (from the unfortunately clumsy removal of sunglasses) solidifies that I was never meant to have that piercing since I'm having such horrible luck with it.
One way conversations
I talk to myself heaps, be it staring at the wall before I pass out to sleep (which usually doesn't take long) or the anxious wait for a phone call that shouldn't and never will happen.
Strangely, one way conversations do happen between two people... but I'd imagine it's somewhat a "semi" one way conversation considering the both of you are involved, yes?
For example: you're drumming your fingers against the keyboard staring at the person's chat window wondering if you should say anything. Of course, as you're wondering, you're also talking to yourself weighing out the worth of nanosecond euphoria versus the slow, agonizing pain that you know will span over the next few days should you even begin a conversation.
And you know the other person is probably fussing over the exact same predicament because the both of you still leave little thoughts lying around out in the open, knowing the other person will be reading or at the very least catch a glimpse of it.
Tsk tsk, stalemate.
Oh, why do we torture ourselves so?
Happy Halloween to all :) Today is when obscenely huge amounts of candy is acceptable... so remember to eat your candy/chocolate today! ^^;
As requested by him ^^; NOT written by me (obviously), inspired by us, posted with love and shared for everyone to see <3
Okay, so I did do the spell/grammar check >.< And paragraphing (cause he's so effing BAD with that)... but that's it :)
The world is different; you drive a little faster and feel invigorated. You walk outside and the air is crisper. You see the world in a different way because it has been sprinkled with spice. She is the spice that's peppering my world.
There is no more me and there is no her, only us.
Nothing I do is without her; she is always there in my thoughts. I watch a movie, she is there holding my hand... I stop at a crossroad she is there walking... taking my breath away. I hear a song and she is there humming along beside me. I laugh out loud and she laughs with me.
She made me sing, did you know that?
Yes, I sang to her. She sang to me and we sang together. The shattering of windows and champagne glasses were never heard as we were not in that moment; we were in a different place.... we were together. We were not a million miles apart neither were we not next to each other. We were inside each others heart and soul, giving ourselves to each other and wanting the other to take us whole.
Some may call us fools and mad to be so deeply and utterly in love with each other. If being a mad fool is what it takes to reach this point, then I am and I will run with it. She will run with me as fast as we can with our eyes closed and the wind in our faces, her hand in mine and mine in hers.
She has run before. Alas, I never have... but has she run this fast? Is this new to her as it is to me? I hope so, and if not? This time she will not stumble nor stop for I will carry her and keep on running because without her there is no me.
Take a second
Mainly because I can--shamelessly imported from "that other blog" (first and last; so STOP asking!)
I like watching you sleep... not as much as you do watching me but this is one of the rare occasions.
Mmm. I'm pondering over the many ways to rouse you from your slumber.
Something tender, gentle... a loving peck on the cheek perhaps? Or have you wake screaming in wicked pleasure?
Oh what the hell, I'm not feeling particularly romantic today.
After all, I still need to get even for dinner last night.
Remember? We were having dinner...
and the last thing on my mind was food.
You were sitting so close; the scent of you intoxicating my senses whole as the main course on the table sat alone and forgotten.
Technically, you were supposed to be the main course.
Yet you sat there, much to my annoyance, carrying a conversation in polite tones about a topic that I had absolutely no interest for like we were on a -normal-, proper date.
Except... that twinkle, that smirk in your eyes that betrayed you as you watched me.
I was this close to grabbing and hauling you into the kitchen bathroom for the sole purpose of making you scream my name.
And now I have all the time in the world.
Him & I; you and me
I don't even know where to begin. My thoughts are literally scattered, on fire... I can almost see bits of burnt cells whizzing past in ember trails leaving this glorious mass of confusion in its wake.
I'm trying to find a way to tell you without actually needing to shovel six feet's worth of dirt in preparation for your wrath. However, I also can't quite put a Title to him because he's so much more. I have to say though, the notion of a Title is absurdly whimsical and really does send the innocent childlike pangs of giddy flutters going.
But I digress. There is nothing innocent about this.
You probably don't understand and I probably can't say anything to make you understand AND I'm sure you question my sanity (or the lack of) but strangely enough if I'm really crazy, I'm actually extremely happy to be insane at the moment.
He deserves to feel bad... but I don't want him to feel bad. I keep saying you don't ever have to like him but secretly I do kind of wish you could bring yourself to... try?
What he did stays; yes, I do still remember I got fucked over royally (as the pervertmonster so casually pointed out... you have to ask him about his corpse trampling depiction of the current state of madness).
I know you disapprove wholeheartedly, that the state he and I are in is wrong and that it probably violates the second law of thermodynamics (it's abstract like that... and sadly, I made an enginerd reference).
You're all afraid that I'll get hurt again, maybe even worse this time around if it comes to that. On one hand I don't particularly fancy shades of impending doom but I understand. I promise though, I'll only just cry for three days and three nights this time... food is still under consideration :)
I know, I know. I want this happy golden bubble for everyone. Blue skies, acres of rolling green hills and plenty of daffodils for us to tumble through. I'm giving him a second chance. I'm giving us a second chance... and perhaps with time, you will too?
I'm just waiting for you to come yell at me. You know you want to, and you really should.
I'm not, really.
But I am a pack rat, hah.
Not self-proclaimed mind you... just observations from these overly ANAL people I seem to hang out with -_-
I don't see major issues with hanging onto stuff that's decrepit and old! lol
It's supposedly a "bad habit" I carry all the way even into WoW... yeah, between the few people who log onto my characters and their wanton escapade of raiding and sharding EVERYTHING in my bank, I'm really going to have nothing left :P
Besides, some of the old, useless things make for good memories... ones that you've temporarily forgotten, but linger in your subconscious state waiting to be tenderly pricked and aroused.
It's sometimes numbly sweet, gently sharp but more often it feels like a reach into your chest... and a loving squeeze :)
Fine, instead of clearing up the litter I am adamantly trying to justify the chaos (or the right to keep stuff).
On the topic of "stuff", Yees and I were gossiping about presents and how she wanted another LV bag (preferably given of course) to which I countered a pair of Jimmy Choo's would be excellent too. Although, Yees already has more than enough handbags in my opinion haha
Tsk tsk, all these preppy LV totting fashionistas! ;)
Personally, the thing with gifts... it's all out flattering but if it's coming from the wrong person it's just downright awkward.
Of course... me being me and seeing how a short answer like that wouldn't have sufficed, I cheesed a response to Yees and lamented, "The one person I want gifts from but would never allow and who will never be able to send me one is the only one I truly yearn for."
I think Yees choked and ran off to throw up her dinner right after.
Melodrama - 1; Yees - 0.
Then the morning comes
Tuesday mornings are great.
It has replaced my lazy Thursdays simply because I will inevitably end up doing things that I really shouldn't be doing a lot at all (*cough*WoW*cough*sleep*cough*) :)
To make things even more irresistibly lazy, the monsoon season has kicked in. Rain, rain, blissful rain every mid-afternoon straight into dewy evenings lit by pastel shades of dawn peeking through the dissipating clouds.
Yup, and don't even get me started on work--the rain has this strange effect on me and literally puts a hole in my head where my brain is supposed to be -_- Needless to say, my wastepaper basket is filling up with discarded designs.
And yay! My new 2v2 doesn't suck albeit the horrible name I picked for it! :P
Well, it's not horrible horrible just... yeah, you'd think with the amount of semi-creative bullshit I regurgitate from time to time I would've come up with something better than "chocolate chip cookies" haha
But chocolate chip cookies are awesome <3
WTB milk :)
No, I didn't decide to watch this on Valentine's thinking it was some remake of the 1986 Labyrinth in hopes that I'd be whisked off into a magical land with masquerades in glass bubbles (oh, how I wish), 80's pop music and David Bowie in leather and purple spandex.
Those pants, ugh.
I assure you, Pan's Labyrinth is nowhere close and quite the morbid contrast to Jim Henson's Labyrinth. In fact, some scenes were almost painful to watch... the phantom sensation of a blade slicing my cheek open still lingers in the air at the edge of my lips, so much so I feel the need to press fingers against my cheek to make sure it's all there even after the movie.
In short, picture "Alice in Wonderful" for adults, gone horribly wrong set in the midst of gloomy war instead of pastel confusion... now mix in a sadistic tormentor of an army captain trying to drive out the rebels, a little girl with stellar imagination (she's handy with chalk too!) both far and wide and finally Pan himself with the legendary body of half a centaur, sexy horns and unfortunately, a face like that monster figure in "Saw." Hmm, the last bit didn't sound quite right.
And not to forget the Tinkerbells who lack a little fairy dust and a mandrake root that lets out baby giggles while soaked in milk...
It's a good movie, go watch it!
And Happy Valentine's! :)
Apparently I become "more" Asian when I laugh and smile. Mainly because my eyes swiftly turn into two, stiff brush strokes and well, almost disappear into my face.
Gotta work the serious look ;x
...it's true :)
And yes, that still holds true even though a majority of Asian women suffer from pancake ass.
Tribute to the piano
It's a terrible cliche, that all Asian kids get put through piano or violin lessons the minute they're aware that the pudgy little stubs on their hands actually have more use in this world than to carelessly wave about and perhaps to occasionally grab that funny shaped poo.
True enough, I grew up taking piano lessons. Ah, I still remember my one and only Winklemann--a little old and rough on the edges but sturdy as it was, it rang those chords out like a good soldier (much to the distaste of my neighbours, I'm sure).
I am thankful for the music, plagued by the lessons and won't pass up the opportunity to bitch about the piano teachers I had to go through.
My first teacher didn't really count because she taught a classroom full of whiny brats who just really wanted to press the shiny organ keys and delighted at the different sounds each of them made. It was a time of cacophonous squeals and ill-timed chords. Needless to say, those were the best moments of my piano lesson years--hell, I even got a shiny star for attending class and placing magnetic notes up correctly on the whiteboard.
Then came graduation... and hell. From the carefree wonders of Junior Music Class (JMC) to the strict Nazi regimen of the Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music (ABRSM).
My "first" piano teacher was a fantastic pianist, I dare say the best around my parents could find... a maestro who had an engorged, crooked thumb possibly from all the scales throughout her many, many glorious years of musical accomplishment. She could turn "Mary Had A Little Lamb" into a majestic, melodious recital fit for kings. That, and she was pretty much batshit mental. Not crazy in the manner where you sympathize and perhaps even might want to hop in along with but crazy in the manner where a pack of vicious dogs riddled with rabies would seem relatively tame and harmless to pet.
Granted I was also a brat back then; who wants to sit at a piano for five hours a day practicing the same bloody song over and over AND OVER again when I could be watching TV? Sure, having your "own" piano was a novelty for the first few months or so.
However, like any other kid... playing the same songs just didn't quite cut it.
Boredom, coupled with a dash of ADD became laziness which eventually turned to contempt for classical music.
What really irked me was that all I'd really be doing was just the exam pieces. Practice, practice, practice until I could play with my eyes closed, memorizing multiplication tables at the same time and possibly in my REM sleep stage.
I was just taking piano lessons so I could sit for the exam.
I rarely got to play the piece I wanted... and being super kiasu and conformist, I wanted Fur Elise. Yes, that heathen piece of music that desecrated the innocence of countless children who ultimately became pricks in their strive to outdo each other. Fur Elise was popular back then; you should've seen the amount of kids who boomed that tune out of practically anything that resembled and functioned like a piano, in-house and out. Oh and did I mention the parents? Yeah, the parents who would gleefully show their kids off to any poor relative who dropped by: "Girl, come play something for your auntie."
I am sure my relatives had better things to gossip about than listen to a seven year old who had legs too short for the pedals and fingers just big enough to wail on piano keys without remorse.
But I digress, back to my first piano teacher. She was borderline psycho-abusive. I can't even begin to count the times I've had my books flung at me from the back of the room when my scales and the metronome beat didn't come to an agreement, more often than less, of course. From the corner of my eye I'd see the book(s) whizz by, missing my head by a scant inch. That, and she was a big fan of wearing down a seven year old's dignity and intelligence by ordering me to slap myself for not learning my pieces and sticking pencils under my wrists to make sure they curled up erect and strong. Hmm, that came out wrong.
And you wonder why I turned out the way I am. No, I wasn't dropped on the head as a kid... I just had piano teacher.
All the abuse paid off, I did extremely well for Grade 1 and Grade 2, yippee! -_- Until today, I'm not sure a distinction was really THAT fucking worth it.
Then came England and sayonara to that witch!
After I got home a year later, coming out of that terrible first-piano-teacher ordeal... I think I pretty much abused my second piano teacher for years and end the only way a kid knows how (i.e. tardiness, refusing to practice pieces unless I *really* wanted to play, skipping out on the theory etc etc). I will say that my second piano teacher was and probably still is an absolute darling (like the fun sub teacher every kid wants) and kudos to her for sticking around so long.
I can't imagine the amount of frustration she had to go through trying to teach two kids from hell how to learn to play the piano when quite frankly, they weren't interested at all. I'm sure she has a voodoo doll of me stashed away some place that she used to stab needles into after every session.
Although, she gets a +5 sexiness to charisma for letting me NOT play classical pieces. I wonder if she still teaches O.o
Despite not being very fond of my piano teachers, I love music... listening, playing and every satisfaction that comes with it.
Just wish I had the balls to pee in my first piano teacher's shampoo bottle or her precious fish pond before I left.
It's a boring, cool rainy Wednesday and I've got nothing to do (I know, I'm a jobless bum) but to watch Astro. Yes, Astro still works only if it drizzles but don't even think about watching anything when it's actually raining lest you want your TV to blow up in static.
Seriously, Astro is borderline USELESS for when you really NEED it since I can't cuddle in front of the TV with a hot cup of tea when it's pouring outside. What else do you expect me to do when it's raining (option one is not available due to the lack of the "other" bodily presence)? Go outside and play in the acid rain? Thanks.
ANYWAY, I'm flipping through the channels and I end up on Channel V's Double Shot program... what do I see? *gasp* Ant and Dec's video from a few civilization ago (Byker Grove anyone? lol). Immediately, I'm flooded with memories of England and the whole glorious era of boyband fame. To be honest, I associate boy bands with Take That more than any other group... because, yeah well, the dirty secret is out: I was a Take That fangirl :P Not cult obsessive but... yeah *cough*. Together with that, I'm going to admit to having their CDs, getting all teenage postal when they were on BBCKids as well as Ant and Dec's album on cassette tape (yes, cassette) somewhere.
I'm going to pop hell, aren't I?
But any other boyband that came after them can suck it--much to the approval of my then best mate who used to be the biggest Take That fan together with her altar and candles in tribute to Gary Barlow (hi2u Mien :)). It was also through her, I grew out of Take That and smack into Oasis, Blur and Garbage.
And what do you know, the next clip on Channel V was Take That's "Pray".
Pray is the epitome of softcore gay erotica in the early 90s. The amount of abdominal baring, self touching, skin-tight boxers and half naked beach/water scenes that would put both Britney Spears and Paris Hilton to shame made me blush and cringe in pain. Although, I'm sure the video was meant to be fantasy material for the whole female population back then which would inevitably cause them to have hysteric fits, swoon and collapse into a puddle of drool. Then again, I dare say it probably became fantasy (or fap lol) material for some men too.
I wonder if they look back at their videos and ask themselves, "What were we thinking?!"
Though, it was fun while it lasted.
I heard Take That's making a comeback the end of this month (minus Robbie Williams that is) >.>
All I do each time is pray...
In cursive, my love
It's 5:30am and between tossing and turning, I got up and decided to rant and bitch about everything from the damn parquet tiles that are falling apart in my room to just your average every day "What the hell am I doing" stupor. Since my lappie is downstairs and I am THAT lazy, I automatically reached for the journal (you know, one of those paper mache covers with pressed flowers and recycled paper insides) instead. I stopped past "Dear diary" and realized something. That and I looked down at my own writing which bears no resemblance to a person who went to engineering school. I'm not saying engineers have terrible handwriting... well, yeah 80% of them actually have hideous handwriting. Although, who could blame them considering their faces are stuck to computers and the only writing they really do is math equations for the most part.
But I digress.
When was the last time you sat down and wrote a letter to someone? No, bills and tax forms don't count. Forced letters and cards of any occasion to relatives you despise don't count either.
When was the last time you sat down with beautiful stationery and a sincere intent of expressing yourself to someone else via snail mail and actually not have that letter end up as a crumpled heap of processed trees at the bottom of your trash bin?
Sadly it's been a really, really long time for me. Last time I wrote a letter "just because" was when I was fourteen.
You think that's bad? Hell, you can't even get some people to write you email nowadays (cough).
Now that I think about it, I still have those letters from a different time ago. Yes, all the postcards I received as well while in Madison are still with me, lovingly tucked away in my secret shoe box stash of memories :)
I don't know about the general population but there is just so much more satisfaction in receiving real mail as compared to getting email. Email is fun as well (beggars can't be choosers) but the giddy anticipation of holding, tearing an envelope apart and reading a letter is almost magical... in a child-like manner. Plus points because I get to read the letter over again and it makes a wonderful keepsake. Besides, when I'm old and decrepit the letter would seem a little more meaningfully nostalgic as compared to waiting for the computer to boot up and popping in a DVD.
Well, they say talk is cheap and I suppose it's never too late to start writing again :)
almost, but not quite yet
It's another sunrise I will never wake up to and one more sunset I'll see while stuck in the LDP traffic jam before I magnanimously face a new age cycle. Exciting, isn't it?
Turning 23 isn't as exciting as it was turning 18 or 21... but it's all in the mind, really; what was once a procession of musical magic and effervescent fireworks has become the imaginary tinkle that accompanies the clock which makes a rotten, breaking creak of a tick every once a year.
What did I do as a 22 year old?
Come to think of it, anything past 21 feels like flat, chunky, overcooked creme brulée (or room temperature char kuay teow for the uninspired).
Some would scoff and say that turning 23 is nothing, nothing at all. Just another year that whizzes by until you hit the big THREE ZERO. God forbid I'd still be lamenting like I currently am when I hit 30. Heck, the only thing I want to be complaining about when I hit 30 would be random bits of fluff like... my relatives not staying off my ass because they're prying for a niece, nephew or two (how much more Asian can you get)? Only because I'm too busy galivanting around doing something else with my life. Yes, I have such extravagant hopes.
But I digress. What did I do as a 22 year old?
I met Mo. LOL. <3 Good times ^^; I got addicted to WoW. Although, I still think I never really got past the whole addiction thing. I mean, if I don't have it, I'll live... but if you thrust an activated account under my nose, I'm all over it like a dying swimmer on a life raft.
I met a fantastic bunch of people online (you non-believers have to just suck it up and skip the next two paragraphs if need be). Much, much love to Christy and Mark for keeping me sane through most of my e-drama period. And just incase people are going to start pelting dirty soap at me for skipping their names, I'm just going to give a big hug and much love to (not in any specific order!): Randi, Josh, Scott, Alex, Nico, Nate and Geneen (hope your baby is okay!), Dave, Dabby and everyone else in ex-Prophecy on Illidan. I am such a nerd, it's unbelievable.
On a side note, not everything is a field of rainbows and an unlimited supply of strawberry cotton candy flosses. I know, I know. It's the internet. But I'd just like to point out I also the met the biggest (and I mean HUGE) Dr.-Jekyll-and-Mr.-Hyde ego persona ever, Calis. He could be your best friend (and then some) but could also at a blink of an eye and a shatter of an ego, morph into the biggest bridge-burning-asswipe known to the solar system.
I'd suppose in retort he'd call me the vile, deceitful (insert colorful expletives here) Asian bitch, eh?
But ah, memories. It's always nice to have a flicker of those that mattered the most while in its time and place.
Moving along. Well, speaking of moving, I came home.
After four long years, I -finally- made my way home to Malaysia. Besides the weather, hellish traffic coordination and the fact that people don't smile enough here (we all can't be loonies now can we?) I suppose I didn't have a hard time adjusting back.
Oh yes, I became a pseudo interior designer and power drill waving D.I.Y. fanatic. It was a rather powerful and manly sensation, waving that power drill about. And I have to say, I'm damn good with the drill ;) Don't ask for room pictures, I'm working on it :P
And finally, who could forget: I started this blog. For my fantastic, dedicated readership of five ;)
Is there anything I regret this past year? Could do with less drama and stress factors but other than that, I don't regret a single thing. I wouldn't be this little sarcastic, potty mouthed, Asian feline from hell if I did :)
And did I mention? I fell in love this year.
But it happens every year... over and over again, with my mago :)
Through the looking glass
Away from the busy streets of modern city civilization, past the murky retention pools off the side of dangerously small muddy roads and into a small spot in the jungle untouched by mobile phone reception lies a small jungle retreat by the name of Sekeping Serendah. This past weekend, we (Keong, Eric, Joo, Cina, Pau and I) decided to whisk ourselves to this serenely (how serene you'll find out later :P) quaint jungle retreat.
We actually got lost on the way there.
Completely missed the little dirt turning to the left and headed all the way to the waterfall area where, and I kid you not, the bloody engineer/architect who constructed the parking area had his head up his ass and was smoking too much weed when he decided to map everything out. Who the their sane, logical mind would make dead ended parking lots with lanes the width of my pinky fingers?? It's like driving into a skinny fork.
After maneuvering out of that mess, we made it to our little retreat which was blocked off by a fancy gateway (obviously, this was taken when I got out of Eric's car after we got into the compound):
We all happily unloaded:
The girls unloading.
The single boy.
And this is how rugged we were:
Joo carting Cina's bag of goodies up the walkway.
We trekked through the rather short walk:
To finally arrive at the fabled "glass" house:
Pretty isn't it?
Pau and I went trigger happy with our cameras trying to capture the glass-wood-and-zinc house in every angle possible. We snagged a few sexy models to boot too ;)
Lazy hammock and mini kitchen.
Living room and deck view.
Keeping cool with IKEA products.
The most spectacular area of the house; the open-air shower:
Taking a bath with nature.
Stairs to the top floor.
Joo and Pau on the bed. Needs more scandal imo ;)
Cina on the log.
Shutters at the top of the stairs.
Remember the open-air shower? This is how open-aired it is; behold the view from the bedroom patio:
Theoretically speaking, this trip is supposed to be some sort of a jungle retreat--escapism from the conveniences of modern life. Yeah, a jungle retreat with a microwave, electricity and plumbing. Doesn't get any better than that amirite ;) Of course, being the piggies we are, we had decided to stock up on food for our overnight stay:
After unpacking, we decided to chill out:
Our DJ for the stay.
It was so peaceful it wasn't long before Eric succumbed to the wispy lull of Mother Nature's embrace... and decided to let the hammock embrace him as well:
While Eric fell into a deep slumber, the girls decided to go for a dip in the pool:
They had creatively funky looking chairs which I'd imagine would be as comfortable as sitting on a waffle iron on an extremely hot day:
Mesh inspired chair.
And no, there are no bikini shots you perverts ;) Today's blog theme is jungle serenity, stay with me here.
After a nice refreshing dip with female gossip, friendly catching-up amidst Cina's diving bombs and an ice cold shower in our beloved open-air bathroom which had a "heater" switch just apparently for shits and giggles and had moot functionality, it was time for dinner!
Looks fabulous, yes?
But really, what bbq would be complete without rain? :/
Keong trying to salvage the fire.
Despite Keong's attempts at trying to keep the rain off our food, we had to shift indoors. Not to mention, We did run about like chickens with their heads cut off closing doors and shutters, good times <3 Cina meandered out a couple of times to try to cook a few chicken wings over the dying embers before the sky decided to take a huge piss over her. I just have this to say: Hallelujah for the microwave! Or we'd all starve to death :P
We made smores too! We didn't have Graham crackers or Hershey's chocolate so we made do with Jacob's breakfast crackers and Cadbury's ;) Once again, bless the microwave.
Our water supply got hacked off too when it started raining. When it did come back on, it was still ice cold (if not freezing) as Eric had found out. He now holds the world record for jumping in and out of the shower in the shortest amount of time (in order to avoid any unnecessary ah, shrinkage of parts ;p).
By the time the rain had subsided and when we had our fill, it was night time. Plunged into a sensation of otherworldliness, we watched as the glass house, basked in golden light that bounced off the glass doors, came to life illuminating our little spot in the jungle with a warm, fuzzy light.
Cam-whoring the house up a notch; indoor shots:
Outdoor shots (if you can't see anything, it's Eric's fault because he took the shots :P):
Joo, Sean and something fascinating on the ground.
The atmosphere was spellbindingly tranquil everyone was falling asleep by 8pm. Cina busted out the candles so we had something to do:
Candles on the deck.
Wasn't long until the unruffled jungle comfort stole over us again and we decided to shift a mattress out to lay under the stars in the midst of candlelight flickers (the real, less imaginative reason was that the metal piece we were sitting on were making little tic-tac-toe square imprints on our thighs and asses):
Takin' it easy.
We had extensive conversations ranging from work, ladies and gents, how small the world was, deep sea diving, people we knew/know and to my obscene usage of acronyms. At one point, our conversation regarding the people we knew/know, led to the conclusion that since light travels faster than sound, people appear bright until they speak ;)
El Oh El <3
Ssshh, it's our little secret!
Very soon, sleepiness drifted over and around us (minus Keong who was already fast asleep on the floor :P) forcing us to call it a night. Did I mention that peeing in the middle of the night in the open-air bathroom was really, really frightfully disconcerting?
We woke up in the morning to the delicately sweet sound of ruffled leaves and the invigorating smell of fresh rain. Well, yeah I'm sure the burning charcoals (indicating that there's food around) was a plus factor too.
We had our version of toast:
Zooming in, the remnants of yesterday night's activities are quite visible. We decided to roast everything we could get our hands on--peanut shells, peanuts, a banana and rice crackers. I'm sure it added some flavor to our bread xD
Since we had so much fun doing that, we decided to roast a banana and melt some chocolate (and Cheezels, but that was later on):
Tasty albeit slightly unrefined presentation wise, we present chocolate bananas for breakfast:
Soon, it was time to pack up and leave :/
Here are some morning shots of the place and the happy people:
Let the morning light through!
Pile of rubbish cameo.
Keong and Eric washing up.
We did take some group pictures but they're all housed in Pau's camera. So I'll add those in later ;D
At the moment, my head's swaying from side to side from OD-ing on Panadol (fever, sore throat, the works... yeah) and I don't think I can muster up anything else to say that won't come out sounding retarded and illogical :P
It was a fantastic weekend and I'm sure we'll go back ;) September kids' birthday rendezvous, yes? <3
The Room Chronicles (1): Down memory lane
(Incoming long ass, picture whoring post :))
As I'm typing this post, my fingers still STINK of garlic from marinading the chicken for our trip to the glass house tomorrow. I even used a whole lemon to scrub my hands to the point of prunesville and they are still glorified in the stench of garlic.
Before my excellent night spent at the kitchen sink molesting a few chicken wings or so, I had finally gotten round to starting the second step of my room project: moving out and clearing the pile of ancient artifacts buried deep within the shelves of my room. At 1:30pm, this is how my room looked like (and how it's looked like since I was 12):
My room, authenticly dirty since 1995.
A different angle.
My secret stash.
My dad mentioned once that I shame the entire female population of the world by being such a messy little brat. I disagree, I call my mess an artistic tempermant. But yeah, I'm lazy as fuck.
The first place I decided to blow to bits was the lower part of the glass-windowed shelf. And what do I find? Sailormoon gift bags lol :P
In the name of the Moon, I will punish you!
I admit it, I was the biggest Sailormoon fangirl back then. I think I still am though, only not as severe. Next to the bags were a pile notes from my Psychology 201 class. It was an interesting read--interesting enough that I found myself pouring through the pages and ultimately meandering away from cleaning. I suffer from A.D.D., so bite me.
With the bottom shelf done, I moved to the other shelf:
I love candles. And essential oils, yes mmm. I'd grow my own herbs if I could but any plant I touch has the tendency to crumble into a little heap of compost.
For those who are wondering, I run a cult too: Circle of the Mystic Nekos. Yes, the truth is out! I'm not some fancy James Bond spy vixen, I'm just a plain old witch :P We're holding rites of initiation sometime this month, all who are interested are welcome to attend our promiscuous frolick under the moonlit night...
I'm kidding <3
No offense to any Wiccans reading ^^; Much love and respect to you all <3 The selfish little stab I made was meant for simple minds of diluted realities.
I shifted my attention to the covered portion of the shelf beside my bed. What do I find? More Sailormoon.
Odango atama and the scouts.
And my little treasure trove of trophies:
To think I was hardworking and a bloody kiasu little overachiever geek back "in those days". I'm almost convinced that it was some alternate reality I had completely fabricated to escape the cruel, jagged teeth of reality. Sigh, don't we all live for melodramaticity? Oh look, I'm making up words along the way. Too bad, as current reality stands, I'm a useless bum :P
Hmm, what else did I find? Besides Aunty May's ISIC card (good times at the Cardinal by the way *hugs* ;p), I found these nested comfortably between stacks of scratch paper:
Differential equa... wha?
Geeky math books (not one but TWO) by my fucking bed stand, seriously. Where did that part of me die off to? I blame Chemical Engineering. Well, no. I blame the people in that deparment, the ones that made me despise studying altogether. So here's a royal fuck you to the little bitches who strove to make every one of my course mates in my year (and so forth) miserable.
On a brighter note:
The neck bone is connected to the head bone!
Yay! Memories from England! :D I think this was my final Science project of some sort. As I flipped through the pages, I came across something that made me laugh out loud. It was a fingerprint exercise (to learn the different patterns etc) and for the exercise, I had to fabricate a "bad guy", draw a picture of him/her, come up with a background story and fingerprint the "bad guy" as if he/she had been caught (i.e. my own).
Take a guess what I named my baddie alter-ego? (to my own credit, this little fact only proves that I've loved cats since the beginning of time :P)
I can't believe I called her Pussy...
Ok, when you were ten years old, it's all nice, innocent and that's a good nickname for a baddie who's got the word "cat" in her name. Now that I'm a bloody shameless pervert at the age of twenty-two, it's beyond horrific :P That's so going into my treasure trove.
Ugh, all this procrastinated cleaning is taking a toll on my trash bags. Barely two hours and I'm running out of trash bags already. As I'm bouncing back and forth my shelves, I find more strange/interesting/memorable stuff that include: old make-up that I bought to apply for one occassion (fucking peer pressure :p) only to forget about when the next event cropped up, an enormous stack of pictures, guitar strings, an old guitar chord book, all my ancient government exam papers (from year 12, 15 and 17 :p), kindergarten progress report books, all three years worth (I was pretty much already a kiasu brat back then LOL) and lots and lots of CDs.
Hurricane: in the midst of sorting.
What else... oh yeah, seemingly neverending stacks of calculus notes >_< The pile has grown up to about one and a half feet tall :/ And oh oh, *the* Theatre 101 script for our first play.
Fuck Drama class. That class was filled with fucking ass kissers (yes baby, that includes you and your merry gang of butt kissers :P) that were more interested in sucking than acting. Ooh, zing!
I had also found the musical box I had to make when I was 15 for a "living skills" class project. I know, a musical box is just so practical in every day use that we simply HAD to make one from scratch. I aced the carpentry and electrical circuit part. Failed miserably when it came time to make a quilt cover for my box. Says plenty about my feminine domestic skills eh?
Dance, magic dance!
The biggest discovery of the day: a Backstreet Boys CD.
I am going to drown myself and repent for the rest of my life for even having that wretched thing in the sanctity of my room. Burn!
All that excitement aside, I went through my stuff from Japan <3 I spent a good time just looking through them feeling awkwardly nostalgic... and reminiscing :/ Oh! I found this curious thing buried deep within my photo albums:
Keeping deliciously warm.
What is that you ask? If memory serves me right, it's a pouch filled with sand that heats up after you shake it vigorously. I'm sure there's some simple chemical reaction going on but the darn thing is in Japanese and I can't read Japanese. I mean, I can read hiragana but won't have any clue what the fuck I am saying. So, yeah.
I had tons of fun shaking that thing :)
The pouch's insides had nearly solidified (guess how long it's been hidden! :P), so no more shaking :/
I'm done with most of the room, just one more cupboard to clean out >.> Although I suspect I'm going to throw out 90% of the things in there. At the end of the day, I came out with two piles (minus the stack of calculus notes and random magazines which I've already carted out :P), the pile to keep:
And the pile to dump for good:
Besides my stinky garlic-smelling fingers from massaging chicken wings, it was a memorable day indeed :)
previously on nekomatta.com
Sean Sean Tan;
sarcastic wordsmith, dirty in oh-so-many ways, fun-loving IE-hating CSS worshiping markup "engineer", anime-styled arm flailing expressive communicator, proudly self-initiated member of the cult of milk and caffeine, snotty pink crayon lover, tree hugging hippy organic designer, pole dancer wannabe, swing-a-ling lindy hopper, rabid arcane mage/bitchin' disc priest/annoying resto druid--sometimes spazzy, often giggly, always loud.
20% sugar, 80% kink.