Him & I; you and me

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Hey you.

I don't even know where to begin. My thoughts are literally scattered, on fire... I can almost see bits of burnt cells whizzing past in ember trails leaving this glorious mass of confusion in its wake.

I'm trying to find a way to tell you without actually needing to shovel six feet's worth of dirt in preparation for your wrath. However, I also can't quite put a Title to him because he's so much more. I have to say though, the notion of a Title is absurdly whimsical and really does send the innocent childlike pangs of giddy flutters going.

But I digress. There is nothing innocent about this.

You probably don't understand and I probably can't say anything to make you understand AND I'm sure you question my sanity (or the lack of) but strangely enough if I'm really crazy, I'm actually extremely happy to be insane at the moment.

He deserves to feel bad... but I don't want him to feel bad. I keep saying you don't ever have to like him but secretly I do kind of wish you could bring yourself to... try?

What he did stays; yes, I do still remember I got fucked over royally (as the pervertmonster so casually pointed out... you have to ask him about his corpse trampling depiction of the current state of madness).

I know you disapprove wholeheartedly, that the state he and I are in is wrong and that it probably violates the second law of thermodynamics (it's abstract like that... and sadly, I made an enginerd reference).

You're all afraid that I'll get hurt again, maybe even worse this time around if it comes to that. On one hand I don't particularly fancy shades of impending doom but I understand. I promise though, I'll only just cry for three days and three nights this time... food is still under consideration :)

I know, I know. I want this happy golden bubble for everyone. Blue skies, acres of rolling green hills and plenty of daffodils for us to tumble through. I'm giving him a second chance. I'm giving us a second chance... and perhaps with time, you will too?

I'm just waiting for you to come yell at me. You know you want to, and you really should.



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posted at 7/01/2007 02:22:00 AM by nekomatta ·

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Anonymous Nico
Wish you the best ;)
July 01, 2007 11:45 PM  
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nekomatta is...

This is Sean when she's emo. Sean Sean Tan;

sarcastic wordsmith, dirty in oh-so-many ways, fun-loving IE-hating CSS worshiping markup "engineer", anime-styled arm flailing expressive communicator, proudly self-initiated member of the cult of milk and caffeine, snotty pink crayon lover, tree hugging hippy organic designer, pole dancer wannabe, swing-a-ling lindy hopper, rabid arcane mage/bitchin' disc priest/annoying resto druid--sometimes spazzy, often giggly, always loud.
20% sugar, 80% kink.