nekomatta

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Yes, my title is a little pedo but hear me out.

It's a typical Saturday and we head out for a great night of resplendent jazz, throaty vocals and otherworldly percussions at Mont Kiara. Past the first session, there's an intermission gap where the host comes on stage to crack a few jokes, juggle an obscene amount of balls and make us laugh to kill time before the second session starts.

Well, if only.

This intermission was a participatory one. Before any of you even as so much think I'd ever volunteer myself, think again. One of the games were one of those dance-for-prize games. Although, no one knew about the dance part so as a majority, a bunch of kids volunteered themselves and got ushered up onto stage.

The prize: some holiday getaway; not too shabby three days two nights isolation for making an ass out of yourself on-stage for ten seconds.

The task: dancing to Madonna's "Sorry" -_-

Considering most of them haven't even reached puberty yet, I was expecting a fanciful, cutesy dance routine ala Kidsong from the contestants. There were three "adult" contestants but the poor man barely moved an inch while the music played, except to turn in drunken circles at where he stood while the other two ladies gave a stiff and lukewarm Shakira/Ciara-esque performance.
If you frequent clubs enough, you'll know how that goes.

So first kid contestant, young twelve year old Indian girl who was actually pretty active (i.e. not turn in circles on her feet) but looked more like she was working out to a Jane Fonda video. I was impressed at her for being so sporting and I'm thinking to myself she's got the balls to go up there and flail her arms for a second or two.

Audience claps. I cheer.

In comes eleven (yes, ELEVEN) year old girl contestant two. The host asks if she can dance and she replies with a shy "not really" while holding a hand to her mouth. I am expecting more Jane Fonda routines and settle back in my wobbly plastic chair while I waited to cheer this brave, young girl on.

The music plays...

and lo and behold, this ELEVEN year old girl starts shaking her booty (and I mean shake... so much so there was a camera pan-and-zoom), dipping her hips, doing the shoulder lean and sending the crowd into a frenzy while I imagine, giving the pedobears abrupt explosive nose bleeds while they die and fly off to kiddie porn heaven/hell.

I mean, what the hell. Sexy, slutty dance moves have now reached new heights and touched the souls of eleven year old girls bringing out their inner sense of womanly empowerment--as a future cocktease.

It's not only the girls. For example, the adorable eleven year old Japanese boy who smiles ever so shyly and responds a "not as good as her" when asked if he can dance. Music plays and our boy is breaking out The Robot and getting busy with his Justin Timberlake moves.

I am halfway between pretty impressed and slightly mortified at the things you can learn by watching MTV (or Channel V).

I can only imagine what the girl's mom was thinking as she watched her daughter do the Beyonce/Britney on stage... "OHMYGOD MY BABY GIRL" followed by a graceful collapse.

Also, I can't help but wonder if the MTV channel is on parental lock until graduation starting tonight ;)

Labels: madness