there's something about you...
Thursday, May 04, 2006
that make people want to gravitate towards and around you.
someone once said that to me... ^^;
although i assume complimentary at that point in time, i'm not sure if he was referring to my *cough* charming personality or the fact that i'm nicely round and very orbit-friendly lol xD
alas, he now tells everyone i'm a whore and schizophrenic since things have gone sour and i supposedly walked away lol
the irony ^^;
psst, i'll tell you a secret: just because something doesn't go your way does not mean everyone else is in the wrong.
i do welcome feedback regarding rationalizing and prioritizing things in every day life :)
i just think there are some things in life that are MORE IMPORTANT than others (i.e. don't be a selfish prick?). any thoughts? ^^;
on the charge of being schizophrenic: just because i'm not an all-rounder asshole... ;p
i wouldn't call this a self-whoring (no pun intended btw!) post. i'd say it's more a detox rant considering i feel like i'm center stage in the middle of a bloody circus ;p
christina thinks it's wasted effort. i suppose to imagine being "rejected" to begin with is really overdoing it and everything good and nice will be mocked by his own brand of cruelty.
although, i don't believe in harboring negativity and having it plant seeds of ignorant and unjustifiable wrath (pseudo theory y? lol).
it's foolish but i know he is a better person than whatever is currently projected. although a little ah, blunt and impatient but he is not incapable of compassion as i've seen that vulnerable, chaste side.
however, perhaps what he had previously was not love but lust?
i may be naive at times but how is it love when you go to such lengths to hurt the one you "love"? how is it "love" when you're willing to believe the worst even if it's not true? how do you do something so vile to someone you claimed you love and still be able to live with yourself?
it was something special, but it wasn't love.
i may come off as a bitch (or clown, depends ;p) when it comes to dealing with emotions at times but i am not impervious to hurt. sure i can act like i don't really give a fuck :p i can laugh off a comment and rationalize the situation like the geeky problem-solver "engineer" i am but the first instantaneous emotion that comes by is plain and simple hurt.
no matter how minute, every person feels it.
i'm just so tired talking about this matter and having it crop up every now and then laced with a myriad of untruths. i am tired of it having a quasi-negative impact on what i am doing at that point in time because i feel sorry he's become like that. i am TIRED.
a few days ago, i was talking to nicolas about forgiving and forgetting. i asked if a person who has caused you much hurt in the past, when/if you have forgiven them and moved along, when you think about that person will you think about how good it was pre-shitinface drama or just remember that person as this evil monster?
and nicolas replied "whatever that person has done to you, good or bad, if it's important to you, you will never forget it."
such truth in simplicity ^^;
life is like a pot of hot water and you can either choose to be a carrot, an egg or coffee powder.
it would suck if you started off gentle (egg) and sometime along the way, you become cold, hard and calculative. the reverse however, is for you to be a strong person (carrot) at the beginning and go through life only to have it drain everything that is good about you and leave you, well... limp.
so why not be the coffee powder (or tea leaves for coffee haters :p)? ^^; influence and touch the people around you with rich, effervescent joy like how the coffee powder blends with the water to create a lovely aroma after some time :)
don't let circumstances beat you to the ground and wash away any and everything that is precious, virtuous and distinctively "you" <3
at the end of the day, i am happy ^^;
i will always remember that period of time with much fondness and everything that was wonderful about it because there is nothing else i want to remember and nothing else i want from it.
it was a beautiful dream :)
that make people want to gravitate towards and around you.
someone once said that to me... ^^;
although i assume complimentary at that point in time, i'm not sure if he was referring to my *cough* charming personality or the fact that i'm nicely round and very orbit-friendly lol xD
alas, he now tells everyone i'm a whore and schizophrenic since things have gone sour and i supposedly walked away lol
the irony ^^;
psst, i'll tell you a secret: just because something doesn't go your way does not mean everyone else is in the wrong.
i do welcome feedback regarding rationalizing and prioritizing things in every day life :)
i just think there are some things in life that are MORE IMPORTANT than others (i.e. don't be a selfish prick?). any thoughts? ^^;
on the charge of being schizophrenic: just because i'm not an all-rounder asshole... ;p
i wouldn't call this a self-whoring (no pun intended btw!) post. i'd say it's more a detox rant considering i feel like i'm center stage in the middle of a bloody circus ;p
christina thinks it's wasted effort. i suppose to imagine being "rejected" to begin with is really overdoing it and everything good and nice will be mocked by his own brand of cruelty.
although, i don't believe in harboring negativity and having it plant seeds of ignorant and unjustifiable wrath (pseudo theory y? lol).
it's foolish but i know he is a better person than whatever is currently projected. although a little ah, blunt and impatient but he is not incapable of compassion as i've seen that vulnerable, chaste side.
however, perhaps what he had previously was not love but lust?
i may be naive at times but how is it love when you go to such lengths to hurt the one you "love"? how is it "love" when you're willing to believe the worst even if it's not true? how do you do something so vile to someone you claimed you love and still be able to live with yourself?
it was something special, but it wasn't love.
i may come off as a bitch (or clown, depends ;p) when it comes to dealing with emotions at times but i am not impervious to hurt. sure i can act like i don't really give a fuck :p i can laugh off a comment and rationalize the situation like the geeky problem-solver "engineer" i am but the first instantaneous emotion that comes by is plain and simple hurt.
no matter how minute, every person feels it.
i'm just so tired talking about this matter and having it crop up every now and then laced with a myriad of untruths. i am tired of it having a quasi-negative impact on what i am doing at that point in time because i feel sorry he's become like that. i am TIRED.
a few days ago, i was talking to nicolas about forgiving and forgetting. i asked if a person who has caused you much hurt in the past, when/if you have forgiven them and moved along, when you think about that person will you think about how good it was pre-shitinface drama or just remember that person as this evil monster?
and nicolas replied "whatever that person has done to you, good or bad, if it's important to you, you will never forget it."
such truth in simplicity ^^;
life is like a pot of hot water and you can either choose to be a carrot, an egg or coffee powder.
it would suck if you started off gentle (egg) and sometime along the way, you become cold, hard and calculative. the reverse however, is for you to be a strong person (carrot) at the beginning and go through life only to have it drain everything that is good about you and leave you, well... limp.
so why not be the coffee powder (or tea leaves for coffee haters :p)? ^^; influence and touch the people around you with rich, effervescent joy like how the coffee powder blends with the water to create a lovely aroma after some time :)
don't let circumstances beat you to the ground and wash away any and everything that is precious, virtuous and distinctively "you" <3
at the end of the day, i am happy ^^;
i will always remember that period of time with much fondness and everything that was wonderful about it because there is nothing else i want to remember and nothing else i want from it.
it was a beautiful dream :)
[ soon-to-be useful ]
previously on nekomatta.com
timeless bitchings
now tuned in with
the sexy red iPod... and Daydreamin' with Lupe Fiasco.
I want to swing! And by swing, I mean Lindy. You perverts.
It's tough. Everyone here just wants to Salsa. I won't disagree that Salsa is one hell of an enticing dance, but the shallow-minded fucks here are too busy worried about how good they look (or how good their partner make them look etc etc) instead of actually dancing and having fun. Boys, you know you're one of the shallow assholes if you've only asked a girl to dance because she's hot (even though she's got two left feet) and you ask the butt ugly/average-looking ones to dance ONLY if they're damn good at what they do... then honestly, you don't really deserve to dance, period.
She's the picture, you're the frame. It's your job (or rather, leading ability) to make her look good.
Now showing 6 sexy comments:
I dunno... i may be an old bitch but i try to look at it from all aspects, i cant help but feel the way i feel about all of it... and i do admit a bit of anger is in there by making my good freind neko part of this circus but who wouldnt? lol <3 Nekooo!!!
Trust me, its a must watch!!!! No, its non of that scary crap, it actually cheered me up today when i found out that i got my car towed by the cops.
Ah yah char char, bari birbiri
akkakakdooo ya chap katak king dang doo
lan den la doon voodoooo dooday
kuri kuring kang kooo
ack and your car got towed? :P