tears of sin and solace

Thursday, March 30, 2006

we were both wrong. you know it, i know it, she knows it, he knows it.
they were innocents, lost spectators and eventually unwilling participants to something that was never meant to be. i can almost hear the 'i told you so's echoing in the distance... this box of forgotten sighs was bound to be discovered; just sooner or by accident. regardless of how unconceivably twisted and sour things have become, maybe it's a blessing in disguise for truth and totality.

it is a fault to which i will admit to, something unfortunately, you share with me in the time that will span the ages.

he calls me naive, a little puppet in your court of deceit and amusement.
brainwashed and tainted by words that speak veiled cruel intentions... tonight you proved that?
she probably doesn't think too much of me. she has no need to feel threatened. after all, it was just fun and games, were they not?
you of all people should know better. did you find your piece of the puzzle?

i'm standing in a circle for two; an emotional revolver to my chest.
what is done, is done.
the little mistakes we make that snowball, the fingers that we point because we are afraid... and the empty kisses you blow to preserve what you have because you can't have all that you want.
in the end, it is i who take the bullet.
but everything will be all right... because no one wants to remember. no one should.

but no one forgets either.

i am so scared. i've never been this terrified before; telling him everything even though there is a huge price of desolation to pay. with all the shit that has hit the fan and is on a rapid spiral downwards, at the end of the day, the only person worth dying (if it comes to that) for and sacrificing everything i have is him.
it has always been him...
not you, not her...
only him.

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posted at 3/30/2006 02:30:00 AM by nekomatta ·

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Now showing 5 sexy comments:

Blogger *~Dreams of the Whimsical Invisionary~*
Aww, you are a good girl Neko-chan or you would not have pulled out of that situation :). It's a real shame that there are ppl out there who like to prey on others to fill the needs they cant meet or rectify in thier own lives :(. But hey, its over and done with, screw them, they will go away eventually :).
March 30, 2006 3:55 AM  
Anonymous Mike
What in the blazing hell...had never been that confused in my life before after reading that. But hey screw that, but whateva you do next time.........


























Do not flash out pics of Malaysian food on your blog again! Even if you do, post a link to it maybe? It makes my george foreman grill taste like dogfood. Grilled stingray, holy sweet blessing of a paladin!
March 30, 2006 11:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous
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March 31, 2006 5:14 PM  
Blogger nekomatta
christinaaa :D i realized something today ^^; and it gives me great satisfaction in realizing that ;) i am happy ^^;

weeeell mike, more of a reason for you to come home yes? ;) the panda is coming home on the 2nd lol you can join him in his eating romp and shit fire for a couple of days xD
April 01, 2006 4:28 AM  
Blogger *~Dreams of the Whimsical Invisionary~*
lmao i wanna go toooo!!! and zomg what did you realize :D ... i am kinda braindead right now so bear with me ahahahahahaaah :D... now... i dont know about the whole 'shitting fire and cactus needles, with a shot or two of broken glass"... but i would love to try out at least a few dishes i have not had before :)... im kind of a wuss when it comes to spice nowadays because i get heartburn lol.
April 01, 2006 6:40 PM  
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nekomatta is...

This is Sean when she's emo. Sean Sean Tan;

sarcastic wordsmith, dirty in oh-so-many ways, fun-loving IE-hating CSS worshiping markup "engineer", anime-styled arm flailing expressive communicator, proudly self-initiated member of the cult of milk and caffeine, snotty pink crayon lover, tree hugging hippy organic designer, pole dancer wannabe, swing-a-ling lindy hopper, rabid arcane mage/bitchin' disc priest/annoying resto druid--sometimes spazzy, often giggly, always loud.
20% sugar, 80% kink.